Helpful Resources
15 Tips for Talking to Grieving Kids
- Tell them honestly what happened concerning the death: when it occurred, where it happened, how the person died, who was there.
- Encourage them to ask any questions and answer each one simply and directly.
- Include them in the funeral or memorial planning. They need to know that they are part of this major family ritual.
- Provide a consistent presence and structure to their daily lives.
- Accept all of their feelings and help them express these feelings in an appropriate way.
- Search out other children, in a support group or alone, who have experienced the death of someone they love.
- Share stories about loss. Read books as a springboard for discussing death…and life.
- Reassure children that they do not have to take care of their surviving parent.
- Clarify that they are not responsible in any way – through thoughts, feelings or actions – for the death of their loved one.
- Keep telling them of your love, and hugging and touching them.
- Reassure them that healing from loss takes a long time but they will feel better.
- Mention the name of their deceased person, reminisce, and tell stories.
- Plan ahead, with their input, for holidays and special days.
- Expect abnormal behavior. After all, death is not an everyday occurrence.
- Know in your heart that children become stronger and develop coping-with-life skills as they heal their grief in a healthy way.
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